Do you Si what I Si?

So there I am, trying desperately not to be gloomy over the fact that millions of families everywhere were holding each other close, and ripping open oodles of presents, while I sit all by my lonesome on an Amtrak, leaving Cary, NC headed to Union Station. I did not have long to wallow in the mud of self-pity, because suddenly I heard a chipper female voice say, "Is anyone sitting here?"
Yes, her name is Si, and she is a 22 year old Chinese girl I met on Christmas day.
Of course, I didn't know she was Chinese at first. I had secretly hoped that she would be, and we might have something in common to talk about, but living in Fairfax has made me accustomed to the high probability that if I meet an Asian on the street, they will be invariably Korean. So I held back the urge to blurt out, "Ni hao."

Si was always the good little Chinese girl from Chicago. She listened to her parents, and worked her butt off in high school. Sure, she had to sacrifice a robust social life, was terribly shy, and looked like a total nerd for most of her high school years, but looking at this Stanford Senior now, I would say she came out just fine.

Physical Description in her own words: Tall. 5'8. Pretty skinny, but I don't work out. Mostly because I'm not fat, so I don't feel motivated. I feel like my face is very flat, and I have single eyelids, so sometimes it's kinda hard to put on makeup. I once considered getting the eyelid surgery done, but then I thought about what I would do if I didn't want the double eyelids anymore. But it's okay. I like the natural look better anyway. I have naturally fuzzy hair, so I straighten it, and I'm obsessed with plucking my eyebrows. Sadly, because I pluck them so much, they're kinda thin, so I have to pencil them in a bit.

So what changed? Si claims that, by senior year of high school, once all the college applications had been turned in, and all the pressure was off, she could just kick back and concentrate on just living. This is when the nerd glasses came off. (Hehe. Funny, because they're just now coming on for me.) Not only did the nerdy facade come off, but also the squeaky clean routine. With her new found freedom at college, Si traded in her Good Girl badge for a fake ID, and hit the bars. (Not too hard. She didn't strike me as a raving alcoholic.)

As always, I ask for a bit of family background. Well of course she had Tiger parents. She's Asian. But she didn't have the kind that remove bathroom privileges until the Bach fugue is mastered. Hers were fairly reasonable. As an only child, she was given all the opportunities, but was not forced. At six she tried the piano. That failed. In the 5th grade, it was the flute for the school band. That didn't last very long either. As a kid, Si wanted to be a teacher. Then in high school, she decided she wanted to be a doctor. That didn't work out so well when she discovered she wasn't so great at chemistry. Now, she just wants to get by. She's okay with just finding some job with which she can support herself. With a business degree from Stanford, a decent command of Mandarin, and a bit of Japanese, no doubt, she'll land on her feet.
The biggest downside to being the only child was that holidays (pretty much all holidays) mostly went by unobserved. With just the three of them, it seemed like a waste to feast and throw elaborate hoopla. Si didn't seem too bothered by it, though, it made me sad to think about it. It's not a holiday for me unless it's too loud for me to hear myself think, and there is a spread of food fit for a troop of Philistines (Giants, for those of you who are biblically illiterate).

Now since I get this question ALL THE TIME, I had to ask her. "Do you have a preference of Asian or Caucasian in the men you are attracted to?" Not really. Her first boyfriend was Chinese, and her current boyfriend of about a year is Caucasian. We could argue that there is some Asian connection in that she met him in Japanese class, but other than that, he's as white as they come. In fact, she was on her way to Alexandria to visit him and his white grandparents over the holidays.

Things that Make Si Smile Real Big:
1) Her boyfriend. Hanging out with him, and getting surprises from him.
2) Cupcakes. Particularly Passion Fruit cupcakes from Kara's Cupcakes.
3) Going to the farmer's market. "Americans don't really get out much, and tend to keep to themselves. Farmer's markets are different. Everyone is out and about in the streets. It's very alive and community feeling."

As the train rolled on, Si became sleepy, and Sudoku was calling my name. So I let her sleep the rest of the way. I hope we weren't being terribly loud. Although the rest of the passengers were silent the whole time so I have a sneaking suspicion that everyone on the train heard our entire conversation. Oh well. Merry Christmas everyone!

Jazzy Bake: Like Easy-Bake for Cultured People

Usually during take-off, I am furiously chewing on gum to keep the pressure out of my ears, gripping my stomach, and loathing the feeling that it is going to float right up, and hit the ceiling of the Boeing 767.
Not Tommy. Cool as a anything, he takes the moistened contact, clamps open his eyelids, and suction cups it right to his eye, then repeats. Who even does that? Takes talent. That's all I can say.

Seeing how my first flight was about 20 minutes late, giving me approximately 10 minutes to sprint through the Atlanta airport to catch my next flight, I was a little too preoccupied catching my breath to notice the young man in the green hoodie and nerd glasses, thoughtfully perusing a book of letters between Jack Kerouac and Allen Ginsberg. I settled into my seat, and gave the appropriate acknowledgement/greeting to my temporary travel companion. He remarked on how "old school" my choice of snack was (fruit roll up), and I offered him one. He politely declined, then I watched with fascination as 26 year old Tommy removed his (presumably) reading glasses, and began inserting his contact lenses as the pressure in the cabin increased and we made our ascent into the great blue.

Once the disequilibrium had faded off, then the real conversation began.
Physical Description in his own Words: "Irish-German. 100% Hunky. I come from pretty good stock. Average height, about 6' tall. I think I'm pretty good looking as it goes. I think sometimes it gets me in trouble. I think I have a pretty good physique for a guy who doesn't exercise. I've got sinewy hands and strong fingers. I've got pretty crazy hair most of the time. It's brown. I'm currently pretty casually dressed. I've got my favorite green sweatshirt on. It's a zipped hoodie. I've got one big tattoo, and one small tattoo. And I like these sunglasses that I'm wearing." (He's wearing Ray Bans.) Though he forgot to mention it, one of the first things I noticed was his WWF "Save the Pandas" shirt underneath the green hoodie.

Starting out, young Tommy wanted to be a movie star. Then he wanted to be a famous singer. Now he wants to be both. "Instead of waiting to be discovered, I'm trying to do it on my own time." Back in high school, he wanted to be Jeff Buckley. Eventually, he discovered that he just wanted to be himself. Cake shop proletarian by day, soulful musician by night, Tommy loves making his own sound. He started playing guitar at age 13, and taught himself to play piano at 16, but he has been singing from the beginning. "I've loved music my whole life." His music is a bit Jazzy, a bit Bluesy, and a bunch of other stuff, but one thing's for sure. It's one hundred percent Tommy.

But where did Tommy come from? His parents met at Lawrenceville, a boarding school in New Jersey. "They quarreled a lot, and divorced when I was six. That had the single greatest effect on me psychologically and behaviorally throughout my whole life." Despite the pain of the divorce, Tommy says that he still has two great parents, and he is close with both. He also has one older sister, with whom he is close, but "could be closer." Overall, he says he had a good childhood.

Things that Make Tommy Smile Real Big: 1) Laughing at himself. "I spend a good portion of my time being the butt of my own jokes. Myself never fails to make me smile."
2) Jazz Music: Ella, Miles, Bossanova, Jaoa Gilberto.
3) A&E's version of Pride and Prejudice. "That s*** cracks me up. I have a soft spot for it. I used to watch it with my sister and my mom, and I find the concentrated British vernacular hilarious."

Tommy's happiest memory can be traced back to the night he directed a play while working as a counselor at a summer camp. "I pulled off a very large production in a very short time. It was a triumph." After the performance, his kids dragged him out on stage for applause. He expected a warm reception, but he was not prepared for the magnitude and force of the audience's praise. "Elation" and "Euphoria," were all he could say to describe the moment. It was a sweet reward for all the hard work he had done.

Most Embarrassing Memory: "The last time I s*** my pants, I was wearing white shorts. I think I was six."

Things Tommy Loves to Hate:
1) Rom-Coms.
2) "Pretty much the majority of mainstream popular culture, especially Lady Gaga.
3) Reality TV, or actually most TV. (The exception being cake shows, particularly Cake Boss) "Reality TV just strikes me as contrived reality. Not very candid."

"Yes to Love. At least once. I met this girl the summer I was 23. We were working at the same summer camp in New Hampshire. She was miraculous. I didn't have any idea, at the time, what kind of profound impact she would have on my life. I just knew I was very attracted to her. She was very beautiful. She was flawless to me. She had flaws, and it only endeared her to me because it made her seem more 'my speed'. At first, there wasn't anything that set her apart. I was just lusting after a beautiful woman. And then we took a chance getting involved. For the first time, I allowed myself to be vulnerable, and I was rewarded with a very spiritual connection with her. What set her apart was that she told me that she loved me, even after I had hurt her. And that meant that she loved me, despite the fact that I was imperfect. That was the first time I ever felt okay being a flawed human being. Then we got to know each other in a very deep and profound way. We traveled together. We lived together. She was the keeper of my secrets, my closest confidant, my best friend. And the best sex I've ever had. But I imagine it was only so because of all the things I just mentioned. Eventually there was some dissonance that we just couldn't resolve. We were both honest about it, because we both felt it. So we separated. I think about her still. Strange to me that she's out there somewhere."
When asked if his first real love was his musical muse, Tommy replies, "She is not my muse. My muse is in my head. I think my mistake was me trying to make this girl my muse. I had to realize that my inspiration is within me."

If Tommy met his 16 year old self on the street, he would say, "I think everyone feels like you feel at your age. You must remember that you're not the center of the universe. You have to remember that a life lived only for the self will invariably be a lonely one, and the more you learn to serve others, the happier you will be. You have much talent, but only by cultivating discipline will you yield results. And when you're in college, don't make out with that girl Caitlin. She has herpes."

Megabus Pt. III: Kathleen

Looks 28, claims 32. She shifts in her seat. She knew I was going to ask her questions, and she had already agreed to be interviewed, but I don't think Kathleen knew that I was going to pry into her private life. Luckily, I picked her apart last, giving her plenty of time to prepare her answers. I think she felt better going last, after hearing the other stories, and figuring out that we were every bit as human as she. 


In her own words, she describes herself as, "Short, athletic build, fair skinned, bleached blonde, freckle faced, long hair. My favorite physical feature is my eyelashes. They’re long."


I thought she was a Californian, as she pulled off the blonde quite convincingly. But she stuns me with the knowledge that she is, in fact, Italian. If we're gonna be nit-picky, she is actually Irish-Italian, with a tiny bit of Native American and a tiny bit of French thrown in there. She typically identifies more strongly with her Irish side, both cultural influences were very present in her upbringing. She had a very Italian grandfather who had a tanning bed in his basement. (And the tanning goggles.) But let's start with her parents. 


Kathleen's parents were from the same hometown. Her mother was an Northern Irish/Democratic Activist, who moved out to San Francisco to be a full-time hippie.  While there, she married someone who was NOT Kathleen's father. Eventually, she came back to Massachussetts after having the marriage annulled. She was already acquainted with her future husband, because he had dated her best friend from high school.  They reconnected, got hitched, and have been together ever since. When asked if her father shares her mother's passion for activism, Kathleen responds, "Dad just kind of lets mom do her thing. Mom’s the feisty one." Ironically, when it came to raising her and her younger brother, Kathleen's former hippie mother was always really strict to protect them from making her mistakes.


Growing up, Kathleen wanted to be a  marine biologist. But then she actually figured out that science wasn’t really her thing, so it sort of fell by the way side. (Who hasn't wanted to be a marine biologist at some point in their life? I think it's a phase we all go through.) As she grew older, she cultivated a love for music. This led to her latest "crazy" dream - to be a DJ. What were the chances that I ended up sitting next to two aspiring DJs? Kathleen took some classes, and decided it was right up her avenue. Interestingly enough, her interests don't stop there. Turns out, Kathleen also does a bit of improv comedy and comedy writing on the side.


So now that we know what she WANTS to do, what is it that she actually does? She's an attorney at the Federal Trade Commission.  Obviously, my next question had to be, "HOW THE HECK DID YOU END UP THERE?" For a while, Kathleen also considered going into linguistics. She knew she wanted to go to grad school, and started doing international development. That was her realistic goal, doing foreign service. But she didn’t know exactly what she wanted to do, so she ended up at law school.  Kathleen is also very interested in Latin America, and can speak Spanish tolerably well.


There is not necessarily one major embarrassing event that Kathleen recalls, but she does have memories of living in a continuous embarrassed state. It was the 80’s. Mom used to dress her. "I wanted to wear the crazy, bright fluorescent things, but my mom never let me." Instead, Kathleen was made to dress conservatively, and kids being the mean little monsters they are, she got made fun of, and was really embarrassed. All the time.


But then, Kathleen grew up, and she got to pick out her own clothes, and make some happy memories. Her best memory was the time she lived in San Fran for a summer. "The feeling of living there, and just being there was just amazing. I felt a sense of freedom that I rarely experience. I was a newcomer, and it was only temporary, and didn’t know anyone, and had no obligations to anyone." Kathleen discovered that she is happiest when she is in exploration mode. 
 

Things that make Kathleen smile real big: 1) Comedy. Laughing in general. Luis C.K. is at the top of her list for standup. 2) Music. Good music. Her favorite genres include classic R&B, funk and disco, and old school hip hop.  She loves Otis Redding, Steely Dan, and Hall & Oats. 3) In general, she is really interested in people. Working towards a good cause, and helping people in need rank especially high on her priorities list.

Love: "It’s so complicated right now." Just like her fellow DJ, 2 is the magical number of love. Both happened very recently. One of them was her boyfriend of 2+ years. They just broke up about three months ago. The other is someone she met a year and a half ago. "We were friends. When my boyfriend and I broke up last winter, me and this friend started hanging out together, and developed feelings for each other." Then the boyfriend came back into the picture and said he really wanted to be together again. "I asked if he could see a future together, and he said he didn’t know. So we went our separate ways." During that time, the friend and Kathleen got closer. Finally,  the boyfriend came back and said, "I want us, I want the family, the whole deal." So Kathleen and ex-boyfriend got back together, and moved in together. Shortly after getting into this arrangement, Kathleen was getting the feeling that it wasn't working out. On top of that, her friend that she had feelings for was really upset that she had gotten back with her boyfriend.  "I was upset because I was totally unsure of what to do." Now that Kathleen and her old boyfriend are officially over, she has been working to reconnect with her special friend, and trying to show him that he means more to her than just rebound. 

I hope everything works out for you, Kathleen.

Kathleen was poised and ready for the final question. If she met her 16 year old self, she would tell her, "RE-LAX. I was way too serious. It was good that I worked hard, but I overdid it."

So with three new profiles under my belt, and the five hour journey home nearly complete, that's exactly what I did. I sat back and let the lull of gentle conversation roll in and out of my consciousness. Thank you, Megabus.

Megabus Pt. II: G

I was riveted. They were just so long. They must have taken a lifetime to grow. "10 years," was the response to my query concerning the mammoth dreads gracing the head of the passenger to my left.

His real name is Garrett, but apparently, no one seems to be able to remember it, so he goes by "G."

All G wanted to do as a boy was grow up to play for the Chicago Bulls, right next to Michael Jordan. Is that too much to ask? I guess so. G's childhood dreams of NBA stardom were crushed his Sophomore year of high school, when he didn't make the basketball team. However, he does still carry fond basketball related memories of classmate Andrew Bynum. "His best friend was this short, white kid, and me and my friends thought he was just a loser. When he got drafted, he had a draft party, and me and my friends wanted so badly to get into that party. Just goes to show you can’t take people for granted."

Alas, Basketball was not his calling, but shortly after, G discovered his true passion. Music. He DJed a high school dance, and it was love at first scratch. Sporting his vinyl records, he took on the name DJ Blakout, and took control of the dance floor. "I’ll never forget playing Usher’s 'Yeah'.  It was the best experience ever." 

Now G is 25, and his current dream is to DJ around the world. So far, his globetrotting has only extended as far as Jamaica. But I don't think his dream includes a repeat of that ill-fated Spring Break trip to the Islands, where he was given mono by his female traveling companion.

While that dream is still very much alive, G also has his day job. For the past three years, he has been working as a middle school teacher in Philly. He taught with the Teachers for America Program. Pretty hardcore. He also worked with kids with autism. I actually caught him on his way to an interview for an admin position in the DC public school system. 

Physical Description in his own words: 5’10, 5’11 on a good day. I kinda feel like I’m short, so that’s one of my biggest insecurities. (Chris butts in: “You’d hate my sister. She’s 6’1”) 183 lbs. Used to be like, 210, so I lost some weight about a year or so. All attributed to changing my diet, running, and water. Water is everything to me. (More on that later.)  When it comes to complexion, I try to go by mocha or cocoa. I’m more brown skinned. Decade long dread locks. One more of my insecurities is my taco meat. I like having a little hair on my chest. Plaid, flannel shirt, can’t go anywhere without my Levis. Levi Strauss is my friend.  I always have something on my wrists. A watch, a random Jordan band, and a simple bead bracelet my soon to be wife made for me. To the best of my knowledge, both my parents are African American. I may have some Native American in me, but if I do, it’s very small.

G's immediate family consists of his mother, Sherri, and his cat, Godiva. Mom lives in New Brunswick under the fastidious rule of Godiva, the "boss of the house". Being an only child, G admits that he was spoiled rotten, but even he had to concede to the whims of Lady Godiva, who "does absolutely nothing but be cute and cause trouble," and whose lips have never touched anything but Fancy Feast.  

Obviously, it requires two to give life to baby G, and he most certainly had a father. However, his father left when he was still an infant.  But there is a happy side to the story. With a grin, G relates, "My father and I just now recently reestablished our relationship, now that he’s cleaned himself up." 

G Shares his most Embarrassing Moments: First grade. "I went on myself. I don’t think the other kids noticed, and I was able to discreetly slip out, but I knew. The other embarrassing moment was when I was in middle school. It involved one of my close childhood friends, Patrick Miller. I told him IN CONFIDENCE, that I liked Ashley Diggs, who’s actually Lauren Hill’s cousin. The next day at school, EVERYBODY knew. I guess I wasn’t handsome or something because she was totally not into me.  I never got my opportunity with her. Oh yeah. Also, when in college, Mom walked in on me having sex."

Happiest Memory: "The first time I played Craig Mack’s “Flava in Your Ear” remix on  my turn table, that’s when I decided that this is what I need to be doing."

Things that Make G Smile Real Big: 

1) Good times with family and friends. Being able to enjoy peoples’ company. 

2) Meeting new people. Learning peoples’ stories. 

3) Thanksgiving. "My mom worked so hard, so she rarely came home and cooked. My mom used to bring me supersize fries all the time, so I was a chubby little kid. Thanksgiving was the only time that she came home and cooked, and when she cooked, she threw it down."  

4) Music: To get an idea of just how much G cares about music, one only has to glance at his wrist, where he sports a bracelet that says, “God is Music.” "Death Cab for Cutie changed my life. I’m now completely open to all kinds of music.  My turn table is my guitar. One artist that  encompasses it all, Girl Talk.  That’s how I feel about music."

5) Water: A good glass of water. G has plenty to say about it. "I don’t touch Dasani and I don’t touch Nestle water.  I was introduced to Fiji water at Rutger’s Fest. I was helping to put the concerts together, and the rapper requested Fiji water.  I tasted it and it literally changed my perspective on life. It was heaven in a bottle.  No matter how I’m feeling, a bottle of water calms me down, changes my day. But at the end of the day, it’s Poland Spring  for me.  It is the originator, the innovator, and the trailblazer of the bottled water movement."

L'amour- Twice has he fallen. The first, when he was 14. Her name was Jasmine, from East Orange. She could sing anything. She even sang opera, and it was the most beautiful thing young G had ever heard. "She’s also kinda one of the reasons I grew my hair out," he confesses. Apparently, one of the best way to get girls to talk to you was to ask the girls to do your hair. Jasmine did everybody’s hair, so it made sense for G to grow his hair out. The next year, she did his hair, and they started dating. 

G's second bout with love came about two years ago. "This girl, I went all out, balls to the wall for her. I’m not mister romantic, but I was head over heels."  He whisked her away to Atlantic City, took her to a concert, got the champagne, the roses, the chocolate covered strawberries, the whole nine yards. In the end, not only did she break his wallet, but she broke his heart as well. "Messed me up for a long time." 

If G ran into his 16 year old self, he would tell young G to be open to new things. "Be open minded to new things, new people, new experiences." 

At this point, our bus stopped in Baltimore and we had to bid our new friend, Chris adieu. But then our attention turned to Kathleen, who ironically, also shared G's dream of becoming a DJ. 

To be continued...

Megabus Pt. I : Chris

I hit the jackpot! On my five hour bus ride home from NYC, I had the grand fortune of sitting next to, not one but, THREE friendly individuals, who let me pick their life stories apart.

The first one to get the conversation going was 23 year old Maryland native, Chris. It all started when he noticed I was having trouble keeping my Naked Red Machine juice from slipping through the ghetto, bottomless cup-holder in the table. Not wanting to leave a damsel in distress, Chris gallantly whipped out his handy dandy roll of duct tape. Problem solved. 

Physical Description in his own words: 6’3, 210 lbs. Strawberry blonde hair, green eyes, athletic. Could lose a little around the midsections, but athletic nonetheless. Tall, handsome, Jew nose.  Favorite physical feature is my legs. They're powerful, fast, and can do a lot. 

Chris has his Polish and German blood to thank for his very Aryan features. (Haha. A German with a Jew nose.) Although, it never had a huge impact on his day to day upbringing or lifestyle. Maybe on the occasional family gathering. He has a "very Polish uncle," who always drinks honey whiskey at Thanksgiving. I guess if you drink honey whisky, that makes you Polish. But don't let the blonde hair fool you. Chris has never been out of the U.S. and he does not celebrate October Fest. What kind of German are you? 

As ein junges kind, Chris dreamed of being an Air-force pilot. He always played and dabbled with flight simulators. There was just something so fascinating about being in the open skies, and being able to control where you wanted to go. Going faster than light, and of course, all the fire power behind it. Chris currently works in IT for Jaguar Tech as a Systems Engineer. And though his Air-force Piloting dreams seem to have taken a bit of a dive, he has not given up on dreaming altogether.  His dream occupation has become more jovial in nature. Chris can't think of anything that would make him happier than getting paid to do standup comedy. He loves being onstage, and loves to make people laugh. It's kind of his thing.

And who better to cheer you on toward your dreams and laugh at your jokes when no one else thinks they're funny than your loving family. Though Chris's mom passed away from cancer not too long ago, he still has his two older sisters, and his dad. Yes. Chris is the youngest, and he was kind of spoiled. But dad kept him in check. I don't know much about Mom except that she was married once before to some guy named Harry who was hairy everywhere but his head, as the story goes.

When it comes to embarrassing moments in Chris's life, I learned that he has battled with stage fright, and apparently lost a few times. Hmm. Not too promising for our budding comedian. The other time Chris remembers being particularly embarrassed was the time Mom caught him looking at things he shouldn’t have online.  That, or the time a guy professed his love for him (when he knew Chris had a girlfriend). Isn't that how it always goes? One just can't always help who one falls for. 

Even though Chris's life library has its share of stories of the humiliating genre, it has it's share of happy ones as well. Some of his most cherished memories are about his very first bike. Huffy, bright neon green and black, with lights on the front.  "I rode the hell out of that bike... then destroyed it after jumping off a 5 foot ramp."

Things that Make Chris Smile Real Big: 1) Death Cab for Cutie. Or more specifically, Benjamin Gibbard. Thus, Postal Service also makes this list. "He’s this era’s Paul Simon." 2) Exercise. "Nothing better than getting on my bike and going for 20-25 miles." 3) People watching. Watching kids enjoying the simple things in life. (Like candy? JK. Creep much?)  4) Making other people smile. "Seeing other people happy puts a smile on my face." 5) Exotic foods: Sushi, Thai food, Indian Food, Pho, etc.

Chris has been struck by Love's arrow all of three times. The first was with his first girlfriend. That was puppy love. The second was with his high school sweetheart. Apparently, that didn't work out so well because she was very shallow and narrow minded. Finally, there is his current girlfriend. I asked what it was about her that he loved, and here is what he had to say: "I love the way she can think on her own. She's very free thinking.  I love how we’re able to be completely honest with each other, no matter if it's good or bad." Granted, he did not deny that there was also great physical attraction. Chris also mentioned that he treasured the ability to, no matter what day it was, just talk on the phone for an hour, for no reason at all.

If Chris ran into his 16 year old self on the street, he definitely would have pushed himself to go further in secondary education. "I would have given myself a heads up in life."

As the bus dropped Chris off at his stop in Baltimore, me and the Megabus gang wave to our new friend as he makes faces at us from the other side of the window. Thanks for helping us pass the time, Chris. You sure made us smile. 

Sarah

The first time I saw Sarah, all I could see was this shark back-pack with giant jaws full of teeth printed on it. There's little else I remember about how she looked that day. That was about seven-plus years ago.


It's great to see a new face, but what about the old ones? I had the privilege to reconnect with an acquaintance from high school, via Facebook.


I met Sarah at a meeting for the Christian club on campus. I think she sat at the desk in front of me. I just remember finding her backpack odd, yet hoping that this cool, quirky upperclassman might actually talk to lowly freshman me. It turned out that Sarah was actually the cousin of my longtime best friend, Alissa. Small world. Sadly, despite this mind-blowing association, we just never did get the chance to actually hang out or develop much of a friendship (Beyond her doing my hair a few years later for Alissa's wedding. Random).
However, I recently posted some random Facebook status on craving Chinese-style stewed pig's feet, and she was curious enough to respond. That prompted me to answer with a "How the heck are ya?" post to her wall, and I figured, since it's been over seven years, I might as well get the full scoop and do a full interview. This is the result.


Little Sarah liked dogs. She wanted to make them better when they got sick. The life of a vet was what she was bound for. (Not so much anymore. Dogs are too needy for her liking at this point in her life.) Then, it came time to think about higher education. She applied to Redeemer University of Ontario, Canada, and some other college, maybe in Tennessee, maybe not, whose name she cannot quite recall. All she knew was that it was FAR from the wretched, soul-sucking, humid heat of Sarasota, Florida. At this point, there was no particular occupational direction, just the general goal of getting further educated, and further from Florida.
"Somewhere between my dad discouraging me from going to my dream school in Canada, and my first semester at Manatee Community College [Now called State College of Florida] I reached a weird realization. I was, and still to some degree am, convinced that I was made to be a mortician."


Heads up. She is not a mortician. She is currently a hairstylist at Fantastic Sam's in Traverse City, MI.
"It's nothing fancy, but they know how to take good care of stylists, and it's hella clean!"
In April, she will have been in Michigan two years. This suits her well, and her love for cold and snow. Sarah has been licensed as a stylist for about four and a half years now, and enjoys it more than she had originally anticipated. Ironically, the origin of this career path was a branch off her former mentioned dream of undertaking. "I thought about the business, and how a lot of them are family owned and operated. Since I have not family in the business, not even a friend, I thought that I could get my foot in the door at a funeral home as a licensed cosmetologist. I thought I could cultivate a relationship with a mortuary business by decorating the heads of their deceased and preserved customers."
BRILLIANT! Take note, all you dreamers of impossible dreams! If it doesn't look like you belong in the lobby, sneak through the back door!
Unfortunately, this dreamer was hit with a bit of a set back when, halfway through her cosmetology program at Sarasota County Technical Institute, she discovered that morticians do not generally like to hire outside cosmetologists. 


In her own words: 


Despite being completely crushed with discouragement I continued on, and came to like it. A blessing in disguise.  If I hadn't decided to go ahead and get my license, and start working for a salon, I never would have met my fiance. In the first six months of working at a Regis corp. owned salon, Mia & Maxx, I met Levi. I didn't want to believe that I was so interested in him at first, seeing as how I was dating someone else at the time, but it didn't take long for me to realize that Levi is my soulmate. My mother even told me that she knew we would get married. A few months into our budding romance I was riding in his car, and Barry White came on the radio. As "Can't Get Enough of Your Love" played, he put his hand on my knee, and said, "What do you think about playing this for our first song when we get married?". How cute is he? I told my mom about how cute that was, and she admitted to me, "I knew you two would get married the moment I met him," which was briefly at the salon one afternoon when the two of us were manning the salon together on a slow day. We will be married in the fall of 2013. TOTALLY. EXCITED.


Sarah has not completely given up on potentially finding her way to mortuary school, but before then, she has other dreams. She would also love to be traversing the world with her love, Levi, educating and performing for hairstylists around the globe. 


Sarah is fairly sure her parents met at church, sometime in the winter, in the area of Rochester, NY. Though it's just the four of them in her immediate family (mom, dad, brother, and Sarah), with 20+ aunts, uncles, and majorly fun cousins, she likes to say she has a pretty decent sized family. Though close in heart, the physical distance is terrible. Between her family in NY and in Florida, Sarah has a lot of family to miss, "seeing as how we grew up together, eating beets together, bucking eggs, and visiting each other in the time out chair Nana loved so much to put us in."


A lot of who Sarah is today, is because of her family:


My family has taught me the difference between a love that is true, and the love of someone who thinks they're better than you. I hope to glean from that, how to better treat those who I love. Growing up with my brother has taught me patience and understanding. He has overcome so many challenges, and he's still working on some of them, but he's taught me that not everyone is working under "normal" circumstances.  I've seen how our family had been judged by others, and realized how unfair it is to pass judgment on a situation you've never been in yourself. It's still hard though sometimes, because I'm pretty sure that the people above my apartment smoke crack with two babies in their dwelling, which enrages me. My mom drilled in me as a child, "Treat others the way you would like to be treated," it's all you can do!


Physical Description in Her Own Words: My hair is in a pony tail, because I was doing house chores earlier, and didn't want it in my face. I am wearing pajamas pants that my mom bought me close to 10 years ago. I've set the ladies free inside an extremely oversized black tshirt, with a screen print design of the rap star Ol' Dirty Bastard on it which reads "HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?" I don't know what it means, and I couldn't sing you an ODB song, or rap you an ODB rap, but I pulled this shirt, and a bright yellow one with a big purple tupac on it out of a dumpster behind the Sarasota Square Mall, perfectly folded with a tag still on it, from Hot Topic, on my birthday. How could I resist?


Things that Make Sarah Smile REAL BIG: (1) Kittens. "The only thing that's made the past couple years just less than perfect is the fact that I need cats in my life. They don't lick your mouth like dogs." (2) Knitting. "So sedentary which is not great for a fatty like myself, but it takes me straight to my happy place." (3) Crafting. "Almost any kind of crafting can put an enormous grin on my face. (4) Friends and Family. Nuff said. (5) Laughing. "Levi likes to tickle, and who really likes being tickled? I always tell him how much I hate it, and one day, I asked him why he does it when he knows that I don't like it. His response was that he just likes hearing me laugh and squeal uncontrollably. That's pretty cute. I still try to fight him, but I hate it less now that I know he's just making me laugh. The laughing part is pretty darn good."


Best Memory: The first one that comes to mind is her 4th birthday, when Grandma Stephens built a snowman cake for her birthday. It was basically a giant popcorn ball shaped like Frosty. It was also her very first experience with snow. Thus, the grand epiphany that she knew she was not made for the south. Another fantastic memory from the same period of her life was the day she got the baby brother she had prayed for every day for as long as she could remember. "Wouldn't trade him for the world."

Most Embarrassing Moment (I'll let her tell it in her own words, because it's pretty priceless): In sixth grade I perioded myself. Period. Actually, there is a little more to it. It wasn't the first time. I knew it was all coming out down there. First of all, pads are disgusting. I always hated seeing that bloody mess inside my panties, but this time was particularly off-putting because I was sitting in my world cultures class telling myself, "If you get up out of this chair, everyone is going to see your period pants." Eventually, I convinced myself that worse things could happen, like if I continued to sit there, I might have to clean a puddle of menstrual blood out of my manila envelope colored chair. Actually, worse things did happen. When I called our teacher's aide to the bathroom near the back of our portable classroom to tell her about this little problem of mine, she escorted me to the clinic, where I called my mother to bring me a change of pants, and ultimately tried convincing her to let me come home, and explain to everyone at school the next day that I got sick, but was completely well now. Instead, I came back to class wearing jeans instead of shorts, and I can't think of a person who DIDN'T notice my quick change. Here I am fearing that my pad might fail me yet again, and everyone asking me if I peed myself. Looking back, I should have just said, "Nope. I perioded myself." I feel like that might have stopped people in their tracks. Instead, I told everyone that I had a hole in my pants. A rather believable argument I thought. Nope. The next two and a half years everyone who could remember the day I changed from shorts to jeans referred to me as "Sarah Sprinkler, the girl who pissed herself in the sixth grade." Only one of the reasons that I hate most people today, and myself a little bit.


If Sarah happened to bump into her 16 year old self, she would advise her to, "Do well in school, don't worry about what people tell you you can or cannot do, keep playing the saxophone, and go to college wherever the hell you want. Don't be afraid of student loans. Anyone who has ever been successful in life has had to pay them off too. It also wouldn't hurt you to drop a few pounds. Take care of yourself. ALSO, go see Zoolander in theaters! totally worth it!"




Well Sarah, if we are still friends when I die, I won't ask you to give my Eugoogly, but I may ask you to do my hair and make up Blue Steel style. How BAMF would it be to be buried that way? 

Yolly Molly Ahoy!

Today, I met the manager and hopeful future co-owner of the Yolly Molly Cafe in Fairfax. When asked where the name came from (something I've always wondered), he shrugged his shoulders and admitted it was something that always puzzled him as well. It happens to be one of my favorite froyo cafes. It may not have as many different flavors of yogurt or toppings as other cafes, but I like their yogurt best. It's a creamier consistency than most others I've had. Plus, they make coffee drinks and amazing smoothies. But for the purposes of this blog, I shall move on to the man behind the counter.

Twenty four year old Adam has always been a laid back kind of guy. He just rolls with the punches. Even as a child, he didn't really have any grand plans for his future. He worked construction for eight years (still does a little on the side), worked in Dick's Sporting Goods for a while, and now, he manages the Yolly Molly for a friend/future brother-in-law, just biding his time while they make plans for expanding the business.

Physical Description (In his own words): 5'10, athletic build, brown hair, brown eyes, fairly tan, Native American/Italian/Danish/a whole lotta other stuff he doesn't even remember. At the time I met him, he was wearing a Dallas Cowboys Reebok jacket, distressed jeans, Nike athletic shoes, and glasses.

Things that make Adam Smile: 1) Dallas Cowboys victory. Even though he's a 100% Virginian, born and bred, he has always had a rebellious sort of love for the Cowboys. From the Dallas paraphernalia that deck his home walls to the giant Dallas Cowboys tattoo stamped on his ankle/lower leg, he displays his Cowboys pride for all to see. 2) Action/Comedy movies. Among his faves are the Pirates of the Caribbean series, Ocean's Eleven, Super Troopers (Hehe. Shenanigans), and anything with Will Ferrel or Vince Vaughn.

Most Embarrassing Memory: Adam recalled a time when he was at a picnic in a park full of people. He was feeding the ducks on the lake, threw the bread in as hard as he could, but ended up throwing himself in the lake with it. A poor, sopping wet little Adam had to pull himself out, and face a crowd of howling picnic goers. The other time was the time he fell backwards down an escalator. Ouch.

Best Memory: Without a doubt, the day Adam graduated from high school. Even though Adam was a fine student, graduating with a 3.5 GPA and scoring a 1200 on his SATs, academics was simply not his forte, and those four years of high school were just four years too long.

I was rather impressed by what a level headed teenager Adam seemed to be. He watched friends invest in high school relationships that never lasted, and didn't like the way they seemed to be throwing away their youth, so he chose to stay single throughout high school. In fact, very soon, he will be marrying his first love and girlfriend of the last four years. He hasn't proposed yet, but he's been holding on to the ring for several months, waiting for the perfect opportunity. Adam first met his girlfriend through a mutual friend. He got her a job working with him at Dick's, and they built up a sturdy friendship base before dating. It just seemed right, as they got on so well. After being with her for a while, Adam started to see that his girlfriend seemed to be an exact replica of his mother. I guess the saying is true.

Family Situation: It's complicated. I'm typically interested in the beginnings, but what really grabbed my attention was the sort of ending. Adam's mom worked in a paint store, and his father was a painting contractor. He would see her at the store everyday, and that's how they met. They were married for 20 years, had three girls and one Adam, then got "divorced." The reason I use quotes is because they have been in a pending divorce for six years. They moved to separate houses, drew up all the paperwork, and went to court... yet, neither has actually signed the divorce papers. They still remain good friends, spend all the holidays together as a family, and have not even been seeing other people during these six years of separation. With an amused grin on his face, Adam admits that he would not be the least bit surprised if they ended up reuniting. Hmmm. Well, I'm a sucker for love and marriage, so I hope it works out for them.

So what now? Adam's immediate goals (besides finding the perfect timing for asking his lady-fair to marry him) are building and expanding the business. He is thinking of taking classes in marketing, and is eager to promote the Yolly Molly Cafe whenever possible. Well, I've always had pleasant experiences there, so I say, "Go for it!"

Conversation with a 5 yr old

Lena: (Baby blue eyes opened wide) Um... do you know what? Come here. I need to tell you something.
Me: What is it?
Lena: I read somewhere that there are purple ants... and blue ants...and even green ants. I hate ants.
Me: Y'know, I heard that in Africa, there are ants that can get up to      <-------------------------> this big?
Lena: (Look of horror) Do they bite?
Me: I don't know.
Lena: Where are you from?
Me: Florida
Lena: I'm from here. But my mom is from Georgia.
Me: Really?
Lena: Yes. Her mother was on vacation in Georgia, and started having a baby. So they ran around trying to find a hospital. And they found one. In Georgia.
Me: Wow.
Lena: Gum? It's regular sugar-free kind.
Me: Thank you. How did you skin your knees?
Lena: I was on the blacktop, and I was trying to be faster than Elizabeth, but I wasn't. (Spots a little neighborhood girl walking over to our playground) OH! I know her!
Me: What's her name?
Lena: I don't know. But I know her.

Conversation between 5th and 4th Graders.
4th Grader: I've watched PG-13 movies before.
5th Grader: I've seen rated R movies before.
4th Grader: Sometimes, I play T games! (Video game rating T for Teen)
5th Grader: Well I play T games all the time! I even play M games!
4th Grader: Wow. Middle School.
*For you non-gamers, the M actually stands for Mature :)

Chad, From the Sunshine State

There's no place like home... actually, I like VA just fine. Sorry, Sarasota. I don't miss the humidity, and the mosquitos, and the old people, who are convinced that, because of their advanced years, they ALWAYS have the right of way on the road.

Well, on this particular day, I got a little slice of home. The first thing I notice about Chad is the Gator Band shirt he is sporting. What can I say? Orange and blue still runs through my veins. Both my sisters graduated from UF, so ours has always been a Gator household. Ironically, despite the fact that he knows a ton of people who went to UF for undergrad, and I know a ton of people who went to UF for undergrad, and we are the same age, there is not a single mutual friend between us. Maybe it's because he hung out with all the mega-geniuses who spat on the less genius people, like myself. I wouldn't put it past this Cornell 2Ler with a love for litigation.

Even at a tender age, Chad knew what he liked and what he wanted to be. He liked to argue, so it was the law for him. Chad loves the idea that you can use arguments to convince people. To him, a lawyer in a courtroom is like a brilliant performer, no less impressive than a singer or a sports superstar. They all have those defining bottom of the 9th, bases loaded moments, where all eyes are on them and they can either make complete asses of themselves, or take it home. Oldest child complex? Perhaps. With a younger sister studying telecommunication at UF, and a younger brother at college in Daytona on a baseball scholarship, of course the older brother has to be the most tenacious, and pave the way of success!

There was a brief phase in his early teens when he wanted to be a pastor like his grandfather, but Granddad told him that he could make a greater impact on many more lives as a lawyer.

Physical Description (In his own words): I am a 6'0'' Italian with lighter wavy hair. I'm thin, but not skinny; strong, but not a bodybuilder; tan, but not dark. I think my eyes are my best feature. They are green, with a splash of orange in the middle.

Things that make Chad Smile Really Big: 1) Going to Gator games. 2) Going to concerts (especially rock concerts). 3) Being on the water. 4) Watching B-Rated movies on Sunday afternoons with friends and family. 5) Consuming cheddar cheese, pepperoni, crackers, and white wine with family. (Not with friends, because a guy who sits around and eats cheese and crackers with friends sounds too effeminate.)

Best Memory: When Chad just graduated from UF, he and some close friends took a trip to the Keys. They spent the night out on the beach, smoking their stogies, reminiscing, and looking up at the stars. It was so dark, they could even see the Milky Way. "It was just so chill, so at peace, and so warm. We had a good time reflecting, sharing our sense of accomplishment, and knowing that we were going to crazy, new places."

Worst Memory: An 8 year old Chad was doing some shopping with mom in Wally World, when he felt the intense urge to do the potty dance. Mom was doing what moms do best in stores, i.e., take for flipping ever, and so he sprinted off on his own to seek relief. Seeing the blessed sign for the restrooms, he ran in, dropped his drawers, and started doing his business. About halfway through, he heard the sound of singing. Female singing. Sure enough, in his haste, this poor tyke had wandered into the forbidden stalls of the opposite sex. Waiting until the singing was gone, he emerged, shamefaced, and ran back to his mother. 

The Beginning of it All: So there was this public school teacher in the making and a future probation officer, who met at Southeastern University in Florida. The teacher was from New York, and the probation officer hailed from a one restaurant town in Mississippi called Hurley. Sparks flew, the friendship grew, and they were preparing to say "I do" then... STOP. They broke it off and did not speak to each other for a very long time. They started seeing other people, and supposedly moved on with their lives. BUT, that's not the end of the story. Around Thanksgiving time, the teacher was at her aunt's house, when she noticed a picture of herself and the probation officer on her aunt's fridge.
"Auntie, why is there a picture of me with THAT guy on your fridge?"
The aunt said, "Y'know, I always thought you two belonged together."
This got the teacher to thinking. The very next day, she called him. They started talking again, and within four months, they were re-engaged. And they have been married for 25 years. They and their three children of Italian/Scot/American/Chocatow descent. (They say 50% American b/c they trace their lineage pretty much back to the Mayflower.) But that's STILL not the whole story.
Unbeknownst to the school teacher, the probation officer had always had lingering feelings for her, and had been frustrated that his earlier attempts to rekindle their relationship had led nowhere. This built up frustration eventually came to a head, and the probation officer told God that he was going to stop stressing himself out, and was going let "Jesus Take the Wheel" on this one. He no longer had the strength to try and make things happen when her heart was not beating in his direction. Well, the very next day, the probation officer got a phone call, and it was a Thanksgiving call that changed his life forever.

Chad has also had his little bouts with love. Both with younger women. Cradle-rob much? The first was when he was a Senior in high school, and she, a sophomore. That lasted until his first year of college. I guess the long distancing it while she was still in high school was just too much for the pair. According to Chad, "She became crazy, and I grew up."

The second incident happened just this past year. Chad loved a UF undergrad student while he had started as a 1L at Cornell. This one was four years younger, but once again, it was the distance that leveled the fatal blow to the relationship. Tough luck, Chad. Maybe you need to get a dog.

So, he's still single... I think. Ladies, if you're younger than 23 (remember he likes em young), and lookin' for a future litigator to love on, I may or may not have some Facebook info of his lying around ;)

Katie: Label Whore

I found a kindred spirit of fashion! So, I'm at a party and this adorable girl walks in. Of course, the first thing I notice is what she's wearing. An amazing floral print wrap dress and high wedge sandals. Her feet are pedicured to perfection, and her short blonde hair is side swept and held in place with a flower detailed bobby pin.

This is a male dominated soiree, so I am thrilled to see another female with whom I can make intelligible conversation. (I can't talk football to save my life.) In true meeting-complete-strangers-at-wetdowns fashion, I ask "So, are you a Marine or a significant other?" My jaw drops as I hear the words, "Marine."

Yes. This petite, epitome of femininity is also a rifle-shooting, 100+lb bag toting, butt kicking officer in the United States Marine Corps. Her name is Katie, she is twenty four, and she is celebrating her one year wedding anniversary all by herself, while her husband (also a Marine) celebrates all by himself at NAS in Pensacola. How sad.

She met him at Embry Riddle, where they both attended, and she majored in aeronautics. They fell in love, eloped, and went their separate ways to their training assignments. One year later, they're still talking every day, and loving every bit of young married life, even at a distance. To mark the occasion, she took a trip to J.Crew, and found herself an anniversary present "from her hubby."

We talk shop for a bit, discuss the new Fall line at J.Crew, and she relates her experiences working retail at BCBG Max Azria, when I mention the words "Hunter Wellies," and the floodgates open up. It seems we have very similar In-Your-Dreams wishlists, and they mainly consist of clothing items far beyond our pay grades. There is a moment where we share a smile, she sighs, and says, "I'm so glad that I have found a fellow label whore. You can understand me when I explain how I almost s*** my pants at the sight of Balmain leopard print boots in my size for only $300." Yes, Katie. I understand. I understand why someone would put aside $100 every month just so you can buy yourself a pair of patent leather Christian Louboutins at the end of your training period.

I smile, and nod in appreciation, then the conversation does a dramatic 180 as she relates her humping trips from hell in the Quantico wilderness. No tents, no showers, no shaving, no toilets, no fun for 5 days straight. Just a weeklong of the mosquitos, the hornets, the ticks, the black widows, and your own filth. All while carrying a pack that weighs as much as you do. And when it rains, Katie says she feels like jumping off a cliff, just so that she might be injured enough to get sent back. And these delightful outings come around once every month.

I decide that I will never again complain about physical discomfort, until the day when I have to take care of my female issues in the woods, in the rain, with 120lb on my back, in front of the deer and all of nature.

Truly an anomaly. Katie has completely changed my conceptions of women in the Marines.

Overload

So, these past two days, I have been overwhelmed with all the new persons, big and small, that I have had to meet. I started my job in Aftercare, and have had about 30 new names and faces to learn. Since I cannot make 30 different profiles for each child and faculty member I meet, I will post little snippets of the ones I can remember.

Joshua LOVES hugs.

Zachary is frequently called "Joshua" and he hates it.

Carter has an incredibly high pain tolerance level and can take a hockey stick slap to the collarbone without flinching. Also, he sings Ke$ha to distract the other team.

Lena had a big, fat four year old crush on Carter, but now that she's five, she may or may not be over it. Also, she "came from the Italians."

When playing dodgeball, Julia-Margaret will actually throw balls over to the other team's side when they run out. She also cheers for her teammates when they miss a goal. Talk about sportsmanship!

Elizabeth's dodgeball strategy is to keep her teammates supplied with balls, and not get hit. Unfortunately, her tactics do not include throwing the balls at the other team.

Rebecca is the most aggressive little Chinese girl I have ever met. She also talks aloud to amuse herself while doing her homework, and it take her twice as long to finish.

Sarah can slip back and forth between 8 yr old tone and authoritative adult tone like Halle Berry can cry on command.

Betsy is almost engaged, and will soon be a pastor's wife in Pennsylvania. She also taught herself how to play Bach's Minuet in G.

Daniel is quiet, respectful, obedient, a good sport, and one of the most helpful kids in Aftercare, next to Julia-Margaret. He is a teacher's dream.

Karen is good at asking polite questions, but not quite as attentive when listening to the answers.

Abigail likes to walk around pretending to be blind.

Patrick

Wow. So far, one of the most interesting people I've met in a long time. A lot of people I meet like to give me a long laundry list of all the things they have done right. Phil simply told us what he did. And boy, has he done a lot.


I am sitting outside, enjoying some Labor Day BBQ with my friends, when I notice a man with reddish hair walking by with his pitbull. Moments later, he goes back the opposite way, with two more pitbulls. Being the charismatic, friendly guy that he is, my buddy Adam offers him a burger. Before the man can even respond, one of his lovely pooches cops a squat, right in front of us, and drops some burgers of her own. The man declines the burger (apparently he has to keep his stomach empty for the feast his mother and his lady are preparing for him at home), and apologizes profusely for the little show his bitch gave all of us as we ate. "No problem, man"s are passed around the picnic table, and we bid him farewell.


No more than five minutes pass when along comes Patrick (no pitbulls this time), carrying a large, stockpot. He removes the lid to reveal an ice bucket full of Budweisers. He explains that this is his expiation. As he plops the cauldron onto the table, he grins. "I hope you guys like beer. I'm not walkin' in on an AA meeting here, am I?" It is the first time I get a good look at him, from the loose fitting shorts and the T-shirt with "F*** Uncle Sam, F*** the World, and F*** _insert any random word you can think of_"strewn across it, one would think him a young man in his twenties. As it turns out, Patrick is just a young man in his forties. Forty-two to be exact. And privileged to be able to do what he loves for a living.


Physical Description in His Own Word: 6ft tall, pretty physically fit. Generally outdoorsy guy. Short, red, blondish hair. Basically good health. For many of his adult years Patrick was accustomed to being the slightly "bigger guy," but in recent years has slimmed down. *The second time I met him, he had ditched the F-bomb shirt for a brown dress shirt and slacks.


Patrick does set construction for film. Among his extensive portfolio are such pieces as Minority Report, Transformers I and II, Planet of the Apes, Mr. and Mrs. Smith,  Visa Commercials, and Music Videos for Destiny's Child, Eminem, and the Backstreet Boys. He even built the famed feet propelled cars in the live action Flinstones Movie. Pat does not shy away from admitting that "I am good at what I do." Known by his friends and co-workers as "The Fiberglass Guru," he charges 20% above the going rate, because he can. With little more than a 9th grade education, Patrick picked up the skill of working with fiber glass at an early age. He also worked in a Corvette shop for six years. Soon after, he left for California to live with his brother, went to Six Flags Theme Park to work on a Space Shuttle set with him. Three weeks later, he was hired as a foreman and was immediately sent to work on a project in Las Vegas. And he's been working the craft ever since.


Throughout his life, his family, especially his mother, has had a definite impact on his life. While in Vegas, a huge earthquake hit CA and Patrick decided to move permanently to Vegas. For about eight months, he lived in a hotel room, then found an apartment in “drug alley.”  After building scenery at Buffalo Bill’s, Pat went to work for a company building sound systems. It was 1996, and his first project was the sound system at the Rio casino and hotel. At the opening of the Rio was where he first laid eyes on his soon to be (and current) girlfriend of 18 years. Soon after, his team set up the Hard Rock  sound system. The company set him up with a corporate apartment and a truck. Patrick and his girl stayed in Vegas until around ’98 when they moved back to California. This is when he got back into building sets. The doors of opportunity flew wide open, he came upon a couple good production set designers who really liked him, and things just kept rolling. Pat attributes his good work ethic to his parents. "My parents have always given me good information, always been there for me. I was definitely not spoiled.  Dad was really hard on me, Mom was really good to me. I used to be the worst kid, but now I’m the most responsible one, coming home and taking care of mom. I’m glad I’ve come back to Virginia, and that my baby boy is gonna be born here."At the ripe age of 42, Patrick is going to be a proud (and terrified) father for the first time. Another positive influence in Patrick's life was his grandfather. "My grandfather could pull a smile out of a rock. And I’ve always wanted to be like my grandfather in that regard. I always wanna make someone laugh." Patrick knows he can't take all the credit for all the successes in his life. In addition to his family, Pat gives an occasional shout-out to the Almighty. "My church is on the lake. I'm not a religious guy, but out there, in all that beauty, that’s where I go to talk to the man upstairs, I know He’s watchin’ out for me." 


Patrick's Best Memories (In his own words): I was doing a Mercedes commercial, where there is a guy in the Mercedes, sitting in a wind-tunnel. The guy is just cruising along when the wind tunnel explodes, but the Mercedes just keeps on cruising. I called up my dad, who I hadn't seen in a while, because I wanted him to see my work. He was out in CA with his new wife, and agreed to fly out for a day. I told the guys at the studio that I might be running a bit late, because I had to pick up my dad from the airport, and they held everything, and waited for me.  I bring my dad to the studio, and everyone’s there and ready to go. The production designer looks at me and says, “you ready to go?” I said, “Yeah.” And the director said, “Action.” The wind-tunnel exploded and blew our hair off. My dad had tears in his yes, and by the way he looked at me, I knew he was proud. I’ve never seen him cry. He was raised to show no emotion. After he flew home, my dad called my mom, whom he hadn't spoken to in years, and he told her, “Yknow, I never told you this, but you did a really good job raising Pat.”This was one of the best moments of my life. 

The other favorite memory of his, was the time Patrick bought himself a brand new Magnum. His mom came out to visit him in California. She had been driving a beat up Toyota Corolla at the time. He spent a great day with her, then at the end of the day, he handed her the keys to the brand new car he had just bought, and she said, “what is this?” and began to cry. She called every few days after that, and a month later, she called and said, “I’m home.” A baffled Patrick asked for further explanation. She had put 7700 miles on the car driving from CA back to VA. Apparently, Mom had taken that car for quite the month-long joy ride. Then came some of the sweetest words to alight on Patrick's ears: “That was the best time and the best trip I’ve ever had in my entire life.”

During his forty two year long career as a human being, Patrick has also experienced his rough spots as well. In his younger days, he fell in love with a girl, and wanted to marry her. While she was gone visiting family in Pennsylvania, Patrick put down $1500 on a ring, and planned his perfect proposal. That night, she walked in to 100 lit candles and homemade Chinese food and told him. “I’m leaving you tonight.” Behind her, in walked this big, black dude. She motioned toward him and said, “I’m with him now.” With nowhere else to go, Patrick ended up staying with an ex girlfriend from high school and her husband for a bit, then called up his two brothers in California, whom he hadn’t seen in 15 yrs. It was then that his career took off.

As a result of working on so many movie sets, Patrick has definitely developed strong opinions of some of the actors he has come in contact with. There is special place in his heart devoted to the fierce distaste for Nicole Kidman.  In his own words, "Nicole Kidman is a something I can't say in the presence of ladies. There is nothing good about that woman." Among some of his favorite actors to have worked with are Halle Berry, Christopher Walken, and Robert DeNiro (who "really loves his black women").


When asked who his favorite Hollywood actor was (as a person, not as an actor), he give it some thought before deciding on Jack Nicholson. One of Patrick's favorite memories on set is the time he was working on a Playboy set, and Jack walks up and queries, "What's with the naked girl on the horse?" Pat and the crew invite him over to come and watch the show with them. Sure enough, Jack joins the crew in some friendly Playboy commentary and even in the sharing of some Mary Jane. Patrick unabashedly admits, “I’ll smoke pot til the day I die. I love my marijuana. But [now that I'm  going to be a father] I’m leaving everything else alone.”

Things that make Patrick Smile: Stray dogs. Most of his dogs have been strays, and he has had quite a few of them. Currently, it is his pitbulls that are his pride and joy. One in particular, a strong-willed one named Harley, who he loves to take with him when he goes long-boarding. As a favor to Harley, he waited for a while before having him fixed because he "figured he should have some fun first." Now Phil wonders if it would have been better if the poor dog just never even knew what he was missing out on. As much a Pat loves his pooches, he is fully prepared to put them out at the first snap at his child. Patrick also has a strong penchant for motorcycles and nice cars. He once sold a '69 Firebird to Pamela Anderson while working on the set of Baywatch, and to this day, holds a photocopy of the blessed check.

If Patrick ever met his 15 year old self he would say... "Stay in school, do not take Home Economics, because all the girls are in there, and that’s not what school’s about. Take Spanish, and pay better attention to Math."

In some respects, I really envy the guy. To have a skill that will always be in high demand, and to be able to work when you want to and not work when you don't want to. On top of that, getting paid to do something that you love.

*If you want to see some of his work, you can click on the hyperlinked text above.

Oreos. The good kind. Part II

Simone, the Songstress Oreo.

Physical Description (in her own words): 5'8, beige skin tone, dark green eyes, red curly hair (her favorite feature), wearing very very colorful, bright (but not neon) tribal-ish paint top, dark jean shorts, and floral sandals.

Not gonna lie. I am pretty intrigued when, straight out the gate, this long haired Irish-looking beauty informs me that she is actually half African American. I pick my jaw up off the wooden table, and scrutinize her appearance for any hint of African features. There are none. Seeing the incredulity etched across my face, she attempts to strengthen the verity of her statement by pointing out that the African physiognomy is more apparent in her younger sister, Cameron. Soon after, my faith is shaken once more when said younger sister walks up, and appears to look every bit as Caucasian as her sister. Luckily, her father does come by eventually, and all is proven to be just as she had said. The other half of her includes British, Norwegian, Swedish, and Irish.

Though Simone proclaims the love story between her father and mother to be a bit on the dull side, I insist that theirs may be one of my favorites. They met at work, at a lunch. They dated for four years, and  had a practical engagement to follow a practical relationship. What started as a sharing of common values, became a no-fanfare agreement that marriage was the next sensible step. I was most struck by the sweet, simple statement that "they were just best friends that got married."

As for Simone, she cannot quite figure out if she herself has ever been in love or not. She has fallen for a few guys, but not really sure if they were returned, or even if she really loved them at all. In her words, "it's complicated." She has never had a real boyfriend, but she generally likes guys who are humorous, outgoing, and creative.

Things that make Simone smile really big: Dance. Specifically jazz, contemporary, ballet, hip hop, and a little bit of tap. She is enjoying trying all the different flavors. One of her guilty pleasures includes the occasional cheesy teen book. The last one she enjoyed was a fun piece of work titled Babe in Boyland.

But cheesy teen fiction is not Simone's only guilty pleasure. Apparently, the only thing not quite so level headed about her parents is her mom's obsession with health food. She even makes her own ketchup, mayonnaise, and mustard. White bread always has been, and always will be out of the question. On occasion, Simone has been known to gorge herself on the soft, white slices of heaven during her visits to Maddie's house, where it is not forbidden.

When asked what her aspirations in life were, Simone is more than ready to give her answer. The life of a performer is the lot she would choose. Since the age of 6, she has dreamed of the stage, and of being a singer, like her idol, Beyonce. Though currently part of a chorus, she knows, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that out in the spotlight is where she yearns to be. In ten years, she hopes to be in either New York City or Los Angeles, performing on stage, with a serious boyfriend to cheer her on in the wings. How can one not fall in love with such pure enthusiasm?

Oreos. The good kind. Part I

What could I possibly mean? Well, there are two meanings behind the title.

First, to what else could I be referring by "the good kind"but the one and only DOUBLE STUFFED! Today, it was my great fortune to make the acquaintances of not one, but TWO delightful young ladies. (Technically two and a half, since younger sister, Cameron, walked in on the scene halfway through.)

Second, one of the young ladies, to my great surprise, turned out to be one of the most unique blends of vanilla and chocolate I have ever seen. (Explanation to come at a later time.)

This entry will be posted in two parts because a) we are dealing with 2 equally unique individuals and b) I can't seem to get anything written when my good friend, Aidan, decides to be distracting. So here goes.

I'm walking down the aisle of Barnes and Noble, when the tinkling of laughter catches my ear, and I stop in my tracks.  Nothing can pique my interest like the sound of fun, so naturally, I have to investigate. What I find are two heads together, sharing a moment of mirth over something, I assume, is being read by one or both of the young ladies. There sit Maddie and Simone, BFF's since the 2nd grade, delighting in their common love for literature. Much like Shannon and I, when we were also bright-eyed 15 year olds, with the luxury of getting lost in our novels for hours at a time.

This time, I am able to get a good look at the book titles. Maddie's selection includes Wuthering Heights, Dracula, and Inferno. Who doesn't love a girl with a proper appreciation for the classics? Not only does Maddie seem to have a sophisticated taste in literature, but also in career aspirations. From the age of 6, Maddie started making her plans to follow in Daddy's footsteps. One day, she would be known as Dr. Maddie *no last name*, and she would figure out what makes people tick. (There was also a phase where she wanted to be a veterinarian. That came to an end when she discovered she would have to operate on animals and occasionally have to put them down.)

Apparently, the dream still holds true to this day. When asked where she saw herself in 10 years, she declared, "Riding unicorns in Guadeloupe," before changing her answer to "working as a neurologist." But what do future neurologists look like?

Physical Description (in her own words): 5'6. Shoulder length brown hair, brown eyes (big, cow eyes, as Simone calls them), wearing a neutral, cool colored tank top that is layered down the front, with alternating layers of lace and floral, faded, light blue jean shorts, and brown, random flip flops. Her favorite feature being her big, brown "cow" eyes.

Things that make Maddie smile really big: Cheesy jokes (hearing them, not telling them), jazz (the music, not the dance), and Europe, especially Paris and Amsterdam.

This lucky duck is quite the globe trotter.  Despite the fact that the advantages of being an only child  include regular outings to the theater, and getting to take frequent trips to Europe with her parents, Maddie insists that she is not spoiled. After all, with no siblings to share the labor, the burden of the household chores all fall upon her shoulders. As further proof of her being unspoiled, she offers, "Mom says 'No' to everything." Well, clearly, Mom can't have said "no" to absolutely EVERTHING, since she obviously said "yes" to the blind double-date her friend's husband set up for her with his professor. Just to clarify, he was not much older. And she must not have been too weirded out, because she married him, and had a beautiful, cow-eyed daughter.

Love? "No, maybe crushes," she says. Her ideal is a guy with a good sense of humor, and who is not afraid to do fun, spontaneous stuff. So if you know any single sky divers with an aptitude for telling cheesy jokes, give Maddie a call :)

Sick Day

Blech!

What a day to NOT meet people.

For starters, though swarming with interesting people, it seems the mall is no place to get interviews. Everyone there seems to think you are trying to sell them something. I suppose it makes sense, since the mall is the Mecca of the consumer world. Even before you step into a store, you have a slicked up middle eastern man trying to take your hand, so that he may caress it with the latest Dead Sea salt hand cream he is trying to sell you.

It may also be that the women, to whom I tried to speak, didn't seem to have the greatest command on the English language. I suppose if I were in Taiwan, and a loud, native girl accosted me in the middle of my iPhone gaming, I would also make up some story about a friend that was just around the corner, coming for me.

Well, after the first few rejections, I got the message that people do not go to the mall to meet new ones. I decided to stop ignoring the angry churning in my stomach, grabbed the necessities at the grocery store, and rushed home to curl up in a ball on the couch, and moan the pain away. GO AWAY, PAIN!

Nikki (Not Greek)

I was taking the trash to the dumpster, when I noticed the lifeguard sitting by the pool, looking quite bored. "She's perfect!" I thought. "And she can't go anywhere for at least the next few hours."
I marched down to the pool side to have a chat with her. Sadly, I was met with a polite wave of the hand and a "soddy, my Engleesh ees noat so good." (I think she was Polish. They all are, you know. Or at least every life guard I have met this summer. )
I thanked the lifeguard, and gestured to the one other person within eyesight; the sunbathing girl in the black and bright blue bikini. "Does she speak English?"The polite Polette nodded her head, so I picked up my writing materials and marched over to the pool recliners.


"Excuse me." *silence* "Excuse me?" *more silence* "Excuse me!"
She finally turns her head to look my way. It is only then that I see the earbuds lodged in her head. I let out a sigh, relieved that she isn't deaf, as I had feared for a brief moment.

She greets me with a bright smile and a warm "hello." Nikki puts down her book (but doesn't close the book, so I can't see the title...again). Turns out, this bubbly 22 year year old UVA pre-med grad doesn't need any help talking. I think I have about 1/16th of everything she said actually written down in my notebook.

*Do I talk that fast? I was definitely making mental notes the whole time to slow down when I talk from now on.

Let's start at the very beginning. A very good place to start. When you read, you begin with... Ah, forget it. There was this Indian girl (dot, not feather) living in Cleveland, with her parents, who loved her very much. In fact, they cared about her well-being so much that they took it upon themselves to put an advertisement, in the local Cleveland Indian community newspaper, looking for a nice, young Indian man. Well, they found one. Sadly, the young man was offered a job in Richmond soon after, so a large portion of the relationship was spent on the phone. They managed to sneak in some dates now and then, eventually found their way to matrimonial bliss, and finally, the joys of servanthoo...er, I mean parenthood. One year after the birth of their first baby girl, they decided that two was better than one, and along came little Nikki.

Though having only a slight difference in age, it became clear that big sister was the one to look out and care for the younger, even when Nikki shot up to twice her sister's height. To this day, Nikki still looks up to her big sister, while technically, looking down on her.

Growing up in an American-Indian home seems to have been a unique experience. Nikki has never been to India, and was raised in a mostly western environment, but her upbringing is definitely peppered with a bit of Indian spice. Her family ate Indian food about 2-3 times a week, and her father was a vegetarian, so they ate mostly vegetarian or chicken dishes. With a nostalgic look in her eye, Nikki relates that she did not have her first taste of steak until the age of 12. How did she live???

She lol's and gives me another tidbit on the Indian culture. "We're cheap. It has been drilled into me from the time I was small, no matter what store we go to, we head straight for the clearance rack. There is no such thing as spending $40 on a top."

*Hmmm. Sounds a little too close to home.

Her modest shopping habits do not seem to have had an impact on the magnitude of her professional aspirations. Even at a young age, This "not super Indian, yet not super American" girl was convinced that she was cut out for the medical field. "I want to be an ophthalmologist!" declared an eight year old Nikki. When asked what it was about this particular profession that so fascinated her in her youth, she replied in all honesty, "It was a big word, and it sounded cool."

Today, Nikki graces the halls of the hospital as an ER scribe. I make a jest about killing a person with a typo. She chuckles, but then replies, "Actually, yeah. If you make a typo, you could kill someone." Apparently, there are many tests and treatments with acronyms varying in only one or two letters, and when a doctor is hurriedly spouting out various prescriptions and diagnoses, it can get difficult to keep them all straight. But if you don't, there is a good chance the patient could have an allergic reaction to the wrong acronym, and die.

So what happened to the dream of making blind eyes see? It happened one day on the sweltering coasts of Nicaragua. Nikki had the rewarding opportunity to do some humanitarian work down there, and it changed her life forever. After building relationships there, and visiting four more times after that, she realized she had an opportunity to make a tangible difference in people's lives, and from that time on, medicine became her passion.

What makes Nikki smile big: 1) Sports. All sports. She played soccer all through college, and is currently training for a half-marathon. 2) Catching up with college friends and seeing what has become of her comrades in academic arms. 3) Music. She is currently taking guitar lessons at the Conservatory of Youtube.

That movie that Nikki just loves to hate: Nights in Rodanthe. "I just want those hours of my life back." She's usually a sucker for old people falling in love, but this was no The Notebook.

Physical Description (in her own words): "Tall, dark hair and skin, athletic build. I like my hair, and that I don't have to do anything with it to make it look good. I didn't used to like my brown eyes, because I thought brown eyes weren't as pretty as blue eyes, but now I like them. Especially since my eyes are lighter than those of everyone else in my family."

Now, is it her destiny to follow in the steps of her forefathers, and be joined in a slightly arranged Indian matrimony? NOPE. She likes her men like she likes her vanilla fudge sundaes: white, capped in brown, and popular with children. So the story goes, she fell for her green-eyed stud as he was playing with the little kids, in the sports camp she was teaching. I'm sure it helped that she already found him exceedingly attractive, but that just sealed the deal. Is it true love? "Not yet," she says. "I have never been in love." Nikki takes love VERY seriously. Despite being in several relationships, even serious ones, she has never spoken the three solemn words to any man. She is saving her love for when she knows it is sure.

I hope you find it, Nikki!